Divorce is a challenging process, not only because of the emotion and stress involved, but because family dynamics are altered. This is of course true within the main family unit, but it extends to other relatives as well, including grandparents.
When grandparents' adult children divorce, sometimes how often they see the grandchildren is called into question, and it can be a scary prospect to have to face. In general, though, there are a few things grandparents can do to try to help smooth the waters. Here are some of them.
? Serve as a good role model. Grandparents are unique to the family in that they have lots of experience dealing with family issues. Dealing with the situation with tact, respect and love can go a long way.
? Don't make the parents' conflict worse. By taking sides or criticizing the soon-to-be ex, you might escalate an already tense situation. Getting on the other parent's bad side, too, will not put you in a favorable position to see the grandchildren whenever you want to.
? Maintain communication with the grandkids. Altering how much you see or talk to the grandchildren can be disruptive for them, and that's the last thing they need after a time of family conflict.
? Be mindful of what is your business and when to give advice. The issues that arise from a divorce often need to be worked out only between the divorcing couple. Giving advice when it's not appropriate or needed isn't helpful. Being there to listen and be sympathetic, on the other hand, is another thing entirely.
Source: Huffington Post, "Grandparenting well when adult children divorce," Marie Hartwell-Walker, Aug. 20, 2012
? Our firm handles similar situations to what was discussed in this post. If you would like to learn more about our practice, please visit our Austin divorce page.
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